1992 Rev Chew Hock Hin
How I Became A Christian
Rev Chew Hock Hin
The first pastor of Paya Lebar Methodist Church and the pioneer pastor of Pentecost and Geylang Methodist Churches. He wrote how his faith was tried by the people he loved.
From a staunch Buddhist family
I was brought up in a staunch Buddhist home. Our family goddess was Kwan Im, the Goddess of Mercy, to whom I was "dedicated" when I was a boy. We belonged to the Mahayana Buddhist sect which teaches the way of salvation through personal merits gathered by doing good deeds, by the number of prayers orally recited or by mechanical means and other ways. Soon I was entrusted with the daily family devotions which I carried out regularly and conscientiously.
As regards good deeds, apart from giving alms to beggars, I used to ask my father to buy birds by the hundreds which I took to the temple to offer to the goddess and then liberate them in the compound of the temple. As regards the saying of prayers, I somehow liked this most of all, as I felt this to be the most effective way of gathering merits because it demanded effort. During school days, I was able to say a few hundreds of prayers, and on Saturdays and Sundays I was able to say more than a thousand prayers.
Emptiness in my life
My parents often praised me for my religious zeal and I felt flattered and happy. However, in spite of the temporary upliftment such praise brought to me, I felt an inward discontent which I could not explain. This went on for some time until one Sunday morning I felt an inward urge to go and find "Something" which could give this peace of heart but I had no idea where to find "IT".
I was walking down Fort Canning Rise; I heard singing as I was approaching a building. Something within me said, "This is the place!" It was the Anglo-Chinese School Chapel, which was later demolished. Being a stranger to the place and as I was a student of Raffles Institution I dared not go in, in spite of the inner voice urging me to enter. After walking past the place three times, I gathered the little courage I had and timidly walked into the Chapel. After standing and singing a few more times, the boys and girls walked out.
I thought it was the end of the meeting; however, I noticed that they did not walk out of the compound, but some turned to the right and some to the left. While I was wondering what to do next, I happened to recognise an acquaintance and stopped to ask him where the people were going. On being told that they were going to their various classes in the Sunday School, I asked him if I could be admitted. He kindly took me to his class and introduced me to his teacher.
My first Sunday school class
When the teacher asked if I had a Bible or a New Testament, I told him I did not know what they were. I was handed a copy of the New Testament, for which I paid 15 cents. The moment my hands held the New Testament, the Voice within me said, "This is IT!" I was so happy to have found the "Something"! With the New Testament in my hand and joy in my heart, I walked home as if walking on air!
First encounter with the Bible
I went to my room and without a moment's delay began to read from this BOOK. I turned to the first book of the New Testament and began to read with great expectation. However, as I read the long list of Jewish names which I could hardly pronounce, repeating "So and so begat So-and-so," I was rather disappointed. Refusing to be discouraged, I read on and soon came to verse 18 which reads, "This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about." From then on it was interesting reading. When I read chapters 5,6 and 7, I was so gripped by the wonderful and powerful words of the Lord Jesus Christ that I was convinced those words were written specially for me. For the first time in my life I was made to see things I was hiding in my heart - selfishness, meanness, dishonesty, hatred, jealousy and impurity. I saw that the outward performance of my religion was a sham. It was done mainly for self-praise. I abhorred myself. What a big hypocrite I was! I was ashamed of myself.
Recognising my true self
While I was searching my heart, I felt an Invisible Presence as of love persuading me to confess and repent. I immediately knelt down and confessed all my sins -- all the evil deeds I had done, the evil words I had spoken and the evil thoughts I had entertained in my heart. I prayed for forgiveness and as I rose up, I felt and knew that my sins were forgiven and my heart was cleansed. I was so happy and my heart was flooded with "joy unspeakable and full of glory." (1 Pet 1:8) This was my first spiritual experience and it was all the working of the Holy Spirit! I became convinced that the BIBLE is THE WORD OF GOD, that my Saviour JESUS CHRIST is a LIVING PRESENCE, that all my sins had been forgiven and that I was a CHILD OF GOD!
Leaving the "old world"
I could not worship the goddess Kwan Im any more, nor could I say prayers to her because the Lord had taught me, "When ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathens do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking." (Matt 6:7) It was not an easy thing to decide but I prayed for guidance and courage to do what was right. In less than a week's time the whole household had already observed the change in my life. From the time the Lord came into my heart, fellowship with Him became natural and I also yearned for fellowship with Christians in the Sunday School and in the Church. When Sunday came I was so happy, and I would be in the Sunday School an hour before the Sunday School began. I loved to help the care-taker to open the door and windows and sweep the floor and arrange the hymnals. Oh the joy of being in the house of God!
Take the easy way out?
I attended not only the Sunday School but also the morning service. After the service I walked home with joy overflowing in my heart. One day, as I was approaching my house, I noticed my father was standing on the pavement waiting for me. Instantly a voice seemed to say to me, "Hock Hin, you had better tell your father that you have been to a friend's house." I knew that would be an easy way to escape punishment, but I also knew that would be a lie. I made up my mind to tell the truth and "to face the music." I prayed for courage and when I reached the house, my father immediately asked me where I had been. Without hesitation, I told him that I had been to Church. He was very angry, and warned me of the consequences if I would go to Church again.
On the following Sunday, I was so happy to be in the house of God, and after the service walked home singing all the way. On approaching the house, I saw my father was again waiting for me with something in one hand. The same voice came to tempt me to tell the lie so as to escape punishment. Again I refused, but prayed for courage to face my father's wrath. As soon as I told my father that I had been to the Church, down came the cane. It was painful and I cried, but I did not try to run away; on the other hand I knelt before him and allowed him to cane me. I was never bitter against my father, but prayed that the day would come when he could understand and accept the Lord as his personal Saviour.
The biggest hurdle
This became my regular experience for several weeks, and on one Sunday as I stepped into the parlour of the house, I was surprised to see the whole family in the parlour. I was the second youngest of eight brothers and four sisters. My father faced me and said something to this effect, "Hock Hin, we have been discussing something about you. You have to decide what you want to do. If you want to stay with us, you will have to stop going to Church. If you insist on going to Church, you must leave the house and I will publicly disown you as my son." This was a terrible crisis in my life and I trembled with fear. In my heart I prayed for guidance. Immediately the Lord spoke to me, "Be of good cheer. I am with you. Be not afraid." I was greatly comforted by the presence of the Lord and His assurance. As I was about to reply to my father, I saw my mother's face in sad agony and I could not speak up.
The Lord spoke during "the storm"
Then the Lord reminded me, "He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me." I knew I had to decide one way or the other, so I prayed for guidance. "Be not afraid. I am with you." On being thus assured I was given the courage to speak to my father. "Father, I love you, I love mother and love our home. I do not wish to go out of this house. However, I must be honest. I have decided to be a Christian." On hearing this, my Father handed me a bundle and pointed me to the door. They had already bundled my clothes in newspapers. How I wept as I took the bundle with my trembling hands and walked out not knowing where I was going, simply believing that the Lord was with me and would guide me.
As I walked and wept, the presence of the Lord was my only consolation. For how long and how far I walked I did not know. Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me. Someone called me and said, "Good news for you, Hock Hin! Your parents have agreed that you can go to Church. Come back." I was so happy to hear this and cried, "Thank You, Lord Jesus!"